"What's In Your Wallet?"

It doesn’t really take a look inside my wallet to start drawing conclusions about what sort of person I might be. I’ve heard various ramblings about “George Costanza’s wallet” while the Safeway checker waits for me to extricate my “Club Card” from the overcrowded credit card slots bursting with old worthless gift cards and nine different insurance cards.

There was a time not long ago that my wallet was slim, orderly, and frequently pared down to essential ingredients. No family or financial obligations cleared out the card slots and the picture fold was removed and immediately lost. A few years, one wedding, four hip replacements, and a son later, I can no longer comfortably carry anything in my back packet and my once slim wallet has grown to colossal proportions. You see, once a wallet is freed of a man’s rear pocket and you’re no longer reminded by physical pain or a seventeen degree tilt that stuff needs to be cleaned out, things progress rapidly and soon your wallet is shaped more like a U, than a V.

What might a person find on closer inspection of this overstuffed wallet? Weight 19 grams, circumference 11.5 inches, contents; drivers license of a 32 year old 6’2” white guy, assorted gift cards none of which seem to be new, nine different medical insurance cards, vehicle insurance cards for a Honda, BMW, Toyota, and a Ducati motorcycle, a half dozen USPS money order stubs made out to different names, three life time warranty cards, Costco membership, Cabela’s Club card, AAA Plus membership, Ducati road side assistance, a current Everett Community College student ID, EvCC Book store buy 10 energy drinks get the 11^th free punch card (nine stamps on this bad boy), US Bank ATM card, Metropolitan Credit Union member card, and hallelujah not a single credit card.

What kind of assumptions would a person make about me by the contents of my wallet? A 30’s something guy with a family, 4 insured vehicles, and enrolled as a student doesn’t really make much sense, but what does these days. There are lots of little interactions and affiliations with different companies, but nothing really jumping out and to say “this man stands for that”. On closer inspection there is one long missing piece I think would do just that. I don’t need to buy a new wallet, maybe just find a suitable replacement for that long lost picture fold insert, and get some photos of my wife and son in there.